What I have lost
What I have lost: Subtitles
What I have lost: Stills
The video ‘What I have Lost’ is a eulogy to the NHS. I present a patchwork quilt of moving image and sound that explores the cohesive dichotomy and comparative aspects I have felt throughout these past few years. The main sub-themes are my own distress and helplessness – from having a front row seat in watching the NHS starve and the parallels to my experience of bereavement and grief.
This virtual gallery is a digital interpretation of how I would have installed both my video’s in a gallery space.
The Group is a supporting work to my explorations of loss. I found that when communicating my research and practice many people were uncomfortable with having a discussion about the content. I began to think about ways I could make my practice more accessible. I found that comedy/ absurdity allowed people who didn’t feel comfortable with the subject matter a way in. The feedback I received from this video was “as a podcast the audio would have been difficult to listen too bordering on upsetting at times but due to the comic absurdity of hosting a group therapy session with plants, it made the subject matter watchable”.
This gallery space includes work from “What I have lost”- experimenting with direction of sound, as depicted by the interactive speaker variations, this is to replicate the use of vibration speakers in the exhibition space. My work is designed to be viewed intimately. What I have lost is intended to be viewed in a room with the capacity of only one person at a time. The use of vibration speakers is to intensify this immersive experience, so that the viewer hears the audio in their bones. We are all connected by mortality, it’s the only thing that is certain. I have made this installation as a reflective confrontation.
Supporting work: The Group
After a period of reflection I have concluded I will not be showing ‘The Group’ due to it not being same standard as ‘What I have Lost’.
However I wanted to continue to show it on this platform because I stand my judgement of it being an accessible alternative.
Artists Statement: I make it because I have to
What is your Artist’s Statement they ask? Like it’s so easy to sum up your practice in a few easy to digest sentences. What do I talk about? My concepts? My materials? My process?
My practice is without boundaries so I struggle with even beginning to define it. It’s the thoughts I think, the words I read, the films I watch, the people I observe. It’s a cliché, but it’s true, it’s the way I see. It’s an expression of my experience, it’s what matters to me, it’s overflowing with my truth, and it’s unapologetically me.
It’s materiality and process, it’s what grounds me when psychosis takes me out of the tangible. I regurgitate my darkroom ritual, I repeat days spent painting liquid light blindly over shattered glass. It calms me and pulls me from of the storm Complex PTSD threatens to engulf me in.