Saudade is an exploration into nostalgia for your childhood self. After nearly twenty years in the school system, graduation feels like a final departure from childhood and the safety net of being a student. Saudade is my exploration of that shift into adulthood, to feel the quiet heartbreak of leaving the past and the excitement of the future. This project considers the importance of remembering who we were, learning to accept change with fondness, and embracing personal growth.

Each image features a box I constructed based on interviews with the subjects about their childhood bedrooms. My interpretation of the rooms is somewhat surreal, emphasising them as a memory and the distortion of recalling a place through a child’s perspective. The bedrooms are presented in miniature and paired with the subject’s head, creating a visual metaphor for outgrowing a chapter of life, becoming, quite literally, too big for your childhood self.

All images were taken on a 5×4 large format camera; it was important that this project remained analogue, a physical representation of place and memory. The camera itself serves as a room where these memories are physically preserved.

The word Saudade is a Portuguese term I stumbled across in my research. It does not have a direct translation, but can be understood as an emotional state of deep melancholic or nostalgic longing for a person or thing that is absent. I felt this to be a fitting title.

With eternal thanks to Maggie, Lois, Noah, Dave and Mo.